just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
