Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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