Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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