Dual....:-)
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
