There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
