Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
