1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize