I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
