Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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