do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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