HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
