Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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