Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I need moral support for this bender
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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