Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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