So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
