what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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