No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
