Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize