You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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