let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
