Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
