brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
