In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
