When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
