Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
