Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
