Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
