What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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