I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
