there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
