Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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