Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
