I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
