Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
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