It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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