She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize