Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
