Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
