No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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