All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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