Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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