I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Randomize