Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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