12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
