He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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