Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize