are you so shy because you have an std?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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