Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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