Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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