hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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