My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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