yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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