I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
