you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
