this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
