Define "chronic" masturbator.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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