I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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