Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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