jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
