i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
