Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
