so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
