There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
