I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize