i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
