Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
