I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
