You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
