they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
