You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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