Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
