He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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