She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
